A Woman's Guide to
Healing Your Spirit After Divorce or Breakup
The Jill
Principle
By Michele Germain,
LCSW
When I first
received The Jill Principle from Llewellyn Publications to review,
I thought it was a change from the usual material they published. After
all, this was in the "self-help/relationships" genre, and Llewellyn
specializes in the New Age market. However, just a little way into
reading the book, I realized that divorce and breakups can have spiritual
repercussions.
I should clarify the
title first -- The Jill Principle has another subtitle that states:
Moving from the Tumble of Divorce to Life at the Top of the Hill. This
book is about picking up the pieces and finding oneself back on the top.
Divorce is one such event that can actually result in one becoming out of
tune with oneself. As the author states, "It's my belief that a crisis is
an attempt by the natural laws of the universe to effect change and bring
us back into harmony with ourselves. While I also believe inner growth
and harmony can take place without a painful crisis, the fact is
most of us are so out of touch with our real selves that it requires
a crisis to force us to take a closer look at what needs to be changed."
The author, a
licensed clinical social worker, draws on her own story of divorce as well
as the stories of women in her practice to illustrate the various ways one
can respond to a breakup, with disbelief, shock, and a myriad of other
reactions. In the section on grieving, many exercises are given to
facilitate healing. But then, the real work begins -- getting back in
touch with one's body at first, and then with the mind. "Divorce or major
breakup forces us to drop our dependences and find our worth and value
within," the author states. Germain is a bioenergetic analyst and she
provides methods to get over the hurt and loss.
The exercises are
clear and well-written. I believe many can be followed in situations
other than divorce, for example, if one feels they have gotten out of sync
and needs to fully inhabit their body in the case of vague physical
complaints such as the ones the author experienced as a reaction to her
breakup. There are some references to connecting with the "inner child,"
-- a concept I find a bit dated, but that is just my take on that theme
and it does not diminish from what is taught.
All in all, this is
a thought-provoking and practical book on finding one's personal power and
becoming spiritually whole after the trauma of a divorce. I found this a
satisfying alternative from Llewellyn's usual offerings, and hope they
continue with more spiritual self-help books in this vein.
The Jill
Principle: A Woman's Guide to Healing Your Spirit After Divorce or Breakup
By Michele Germain, LCSW
Llewellyn Publications, 2006
194 pps, $12.95
-- Review by
Diane Saarinen
